Thursday, January 29, 2009

Just a Quickie

Went to radiotherapy unit today to have the simulation. Luckily there was not so many patients so we were there for about an hour only.

Before my turn, there was this Chinese man seated on a wheelchair. I don't know what type of cancer he has but from the looks of him I guess it has something to do with his mouth and neck. I noticed there is a swelling on his right handside neck, maybe about 1 or 2 inches above the collarbone. The swelling was reddish in color and looks like its badly burnt. Actually when we arrived he was in the midst of being questioned by the radiographer as to what he did to make the swelling be like that.

It took sometime for the radiographer to comprehend what he was talking about as his speech was slurry. Futhermore he was there all alone. He was brought down from the oncologiy ward to the radiology unit by a nurse. It seems that during Chinese New Year he was granted leave from the ward so he went home to celebrate the occassion with his family. It was during that time he did something to his neck. Using hand gesture he illustrated that he rubbed "something" to it. With slurred speech, he mentioned a name but the radiographer did not understand him. Neither did we.

The radiographer then jokingly said, "Apalah yang uncle dah letak ni? Pencuci lantai ke atau pencuci pinggan?" But sheesh... talk about some joke...

My turn came and I was attended by 2 male radiographers. Hemm... last time my session was done by 2 females. Talk about coincidence, they both were heavily pregnant. I guess both are on maternity leave now and that's why they are replaced by this two male radiographers. Whateverlah, all in the name of medication, tak dosa tunjuk aurat, I said to myself. But in actual lebih kepada malu terutama nanti bila nak kena tunjuk perut berbatik aku ...

As I entered the simulation room the radiographer told me that they are going to map my neck. Huh?? I thought its suppose to be the para aortic lymph nodes, did I miss anything during the meeting with the oncologist 2 weeks ago? I asked the radiographer, "Dik, bukan buat kat para aortic ke?" He replied, "Situ pun buat. Doktor kata buat dua tempat leher dan para aortic sekali". Oh OK... Now instead of one, I'll be zapped at two places. Good God, I just hope that my "twiggy" body takes well to this double zapping.

For the neck I had to take off my tudung, but the inner anak tudung tak payah. I was made to lie down still with my head slightly lowered, so that the neck area is well exposed. Terasa mcm orng nak kena pancungpun ada ... Ntah apa-apa tah aku ni kan? Perghh...

As I was wearing a shirt, they have to unbuttoned me to do the mapping. "Minta maaf kak, saya buka butang baju sikit" the radiographer said. I was like, "Suka hati kau lah..." and so the procedure starts, measure sana, measure sini. Lukis line ... teringat aku time aku buat lukisan kejuruteraan di sekolah dulu, mcm gitulah jugak. Fifteen minutes later my neck was done. Now you can see intersecting lines and dots drawn from my neck right down to the chest, which makes me really look like a "saudara of Frankestein".

Then come the stomach area. Again I was asked not to move. This time he said, "Minta maaf kak, saya tarik turun seluar sikit...." Hee.. lantak kaulah dik, in my heart only one thing, "Cepat... cepat..., malunya". You see being single, its not that easy for me to expose my wellkept secret - my bodylah...not that it looked like Jennifer Lopez's but hey..its still my body.., you know.

I'd also never in my entire life imagine that I'll get an illness that needs me to show my "secret bodily" parts to people - male or female. Kalau tunjuk telinga ke, atau tunjuk gigi ke, even tunjuk lubang hidungpun kira orait lagi. But this ... haiya... and having a tummy that has batik design "printed" on it is no consolation either. (Oh lupa, thanks E-Ya for this batik design, Urgghh!) Lagilah embarassed and thinking that I have to live with it my whole life doesn't make it any easier.. Sighhh...

Anyway, everything was settled in about 30 minutes and I was schedule to return to the radiotherapy unit next week, 4th February. If everything is alright, I'll have my session the same day. Wish me luck guys. Till then, Ta ta Ti ti Tu tu ...

Monday, January 26, 2009

Update yg tak berapa up to date

Haritu 21 January, was my appointment at the radiology unit. I had my x-ray and CT scan done. The appointment was at 8.00 a.m and I was the first to be called in. No sweat, settled in less than 15 minutes. After that we, E-Ya and me i.e, went to the CT scan counter pulak to register.

As usual I was given the contrast liquid to drink but this time it was at 30 minutes interval per cup. I don't know whether its just my taste, but this time the iquid had a slight "orangish" taste. Even the color is yellow. The one that I had earlier at Pusrawi was colorless. This was my second experience, so I had no qualms about it. But there's this one Pakcik whom I believe was his first experience doing CT Scan and thus, not used to the taste said, "Hish, dahlah dia suruh kita puasa, bg pulak air mcm ni. Kalau bagi air kopi kan bagus...". Hahaha...

That pakcik was first to enter, I was second. He took a long time to finish but my session was over in just 30 minutes. I thought I could go back after that, but suddenly one of the nurses came up to me and said that I need to have an ultrasound done. I asked her why do I need an ultrasound, as I remembered the oncologist saying only two procedures, x-ray and CT Scan no ultrasound mentioned. The nurse replied, "Saya tak tahu pulak kak, nanti dekat ultrasound akak tanya doktor ye". Time ni hati dah tak sedap dah.

20 minutes later I was called in by a doctor. As she was preparing me, I asked, "Dr. ada yang tak kena ke?". She replied, " Nak double check je. Td masa CT scan ada nampak something kat hati". She then continued scanning me for several more minutes. As she was scanning me, again I asked, "Apa kena dgn hati saya?"

The Dr replied : " Mmng ada something kat hati ni, tp saya rasa tak ada apa kot. Ni mungkin air sj", and continued with her scanning, but this time not only at the liver area but also the abdomen. When she had finished again I asked, "Cancer dah merebak ke situ ke Dr?". Again the doktor said, "Saya rasa air je ni. Saiznyapun kecil aje 0.3 cm. Tp tak pe lah kena tngok CT scan balik dan kena tunggu apa oncologist kata". Aku time tu tak tahu nak cakap apa dah. I just thanked her and went out the room.

Kat luar bilik E-Ya dah tunggu. Dia duduk atas lantai mcm org mintak sedekah aje rupanya sebab kat situ kebetulan memmg tak de kerusi. Bilik tu sebenarnya depan dia corridor je, tmpt menunggu giliran jauh sikit. As I was a "tangkap muat" punya patient, tu yg tak payah ada nombor tu, terus dapat masuk je.

E-Ya tanya kenapa aku kena buat ultrasound and I told her everything the Dr just said to me. She then said, "Do you think the cancer has spread to your liver?" I simply answered, "I don't know, just hope for the best".


22nd January pulak was my appointment at the Gynae-Onco clinic. Sampai-sampai je dah ramai yg menunggu giliran. Aku no: 9, skrng baru dipanggil patient no 1 . Hemm .. lama lg, kata hatiku so akupun duduk di salah satu kerusi yg kosong. Di sebelah kananku seorang makcik yg dah agak berumur jugak orgnya manakala di sebelah kiri adalah sorng perempuan Melayu yg asyik menanda membetulkan kertas kerja student. Aku rasa dia sorng pensyarah sbb aku jeling-jeling gak apa dia buat dan aku nampak logo UKM dan kertas kerja yg dibetulkannya itu kepunyaan "Ummu Something" sedangkan nama dia Rokiah (Dngr masa nurse panggil nama dia). Oleh kerana dia tak berapa nak berkomunikasi ngan aku, akupun diam jelah. Tapi makcik disebelah kanan ku peramah orngnya.

Makcik ni (aku namakan dia makcik A lah ye, sbb lupa tanya nama) dtng dari Ipoh. Dia direferkan oleh hospital di sana utk dptkan rawatn susulan di HUKM ni. Makcik A ni dtng hospital ditemani bukan setakat oleh anak-anak dia tp cucu cicit diapun sekali dtng. Bertuah betul makcik A ni. Separuh org tua tu aku tngok, dahlah jalanpun tak larat, tak de sapa-sapa pulak pun nak temankan.

Setelah makcik A cakap-cakap ngan aku, akupun tanya lah dia sakit apa. Dia kata perut dia rasa sakit, tp taklah berapa kuat. Masa buat CT Scan di Ipoh, doktor kata dalam kawasan peranakan dia ada ketulan. Doktor tak cakap pulak ketulan dia itu bahaya ke tidak, cuma disuruh dtng HUKM je. Dia risau sbb dia takut kalau-kalau dia kena operation nanti. Aku senyum je dngar, sbb aku teringat kat mak aku. Diapun mcm makcik A tu jugak, takut kena operation.

Lepas tu giliran makcik A pulak tanya aku sakit apa. Akupun cakaplah aku cancer, cancer dinding rahim. Muka makcik A agak terkejut aku tngok. Mungkin dia risau sbb aku sakit cancer tp dptkan rawatan di situ sama dgn dia so akupun cepat-cepatlah cakap, " Di sini semua org pompuan yg sakit bahagian peranakan akan dtng kat sini makcik. Saya dah sahlah cancer, tp makcik mungkin sakit lain". Lepastu dia tanya lagi apa tanda-tanda cancer aku tu. Alamak... ni yg payah nak citer ni. Kang aku cakap sakit perut, ada ketulan, dah samalah pulak mcm makcik A punya symptom. Kang tak pasal-pasal panik pulak dia, kata hati aku. Macam mana ni...

Mahu tak mahu aku cakaplah jugak yg aku dulu pun sakit perut jugak tp sakit perut aku kuat sngat sampai adakalanya tak boleh nak jalan asyik baring mengerekot aje. Lepas tu aku juga cakap menses aku pun tak berhenti-henti. Mendengarkan itu mungkin makcik A lega sikit sbb dia tak de pendarahan. Itulah aku cakap ngan dia lain org lain sakitnya. Kalau pasal dia takut operation tu, aku kata kat dia rasanya doktor tak kan buat kalau badan dia tak kuat.

Anak makcik A yg duduk sebelah mendengarkan kami bercerita pun setuju ngan cakap aku. Dia cuba tenteramkan mak dia supaya jgn pikir sngt pasal operation. Anak dia siap komen, "Mak ni asyik risau je nak kena operation. Badanpun dah tambah kurus". Sambil memandang kat aku, " Tengoklah badan mak saya dah kurus, 44 kg je".

Aku gelak, pandang kat dia pastu cakap, " Tu OK lg tu makcik 44 kg, saya 37 kg je." Haa.. ringankan aku? Makcik A yg kecik comeltu pun 7kg lagi berat dr aku. Sejak sakit badan aku turun 2 kg. Akupun heran, makan berselera bahkan appetite lg bagus dr dulu, cuma berat badan tak naik-naik. Sebenarnya sejak dulu lg aku ni mmg jenis susah nak naik berat badan. Ntah gene (atau jin?? Hahaha) apa yg ada dlm badan aku ni...

Dalam kami berborak-borak tu masuk seorang lagi makcik, namanya Makcik Nab. Dia datng sorang je. Masa tu aku tengok dia jalanpun mcm tak kuat, badan mcm nak condong ke depan je. Ingatkan dia lemah atau sakit tp rupanya dia mengantuk! Hahaha.. mana aku tahu? Sebab bila dia duduk kat kerusi, kejap lepastu dia tertido... Tp bila bilik menunggu tu dah agak bising sbb ramai orng, dia terjaga dan diapun mulalah berborak sama ngan aku dan makcik A.

Makcik Nab ni rupanya sakit cancer cerviks. Dia dah kena cancer sejak dia berumur 38 tahun lg dan sekrang ni dia berumur 56 thn. Masa dia kena cancer dulu stage dia ialah II A. Dia dah jalani semua rawatan, pembedahan, chemo dan radioterapi. Sekrang dia dtng utk rawatan susulan sj setiap 6 bulan. Aku kagum betul ngan Makcik Nab sbb dia dah cancer free 18 tahun! Akupun tanyalah dia apa yg buat? Dia kata lepas dia treatment dia makan banyak vitamins sebagai supplement. Pernah pd awalnya dia makan sampai 80 biji satu hari! Tp sekrang dia dah kurangkan dosage sbb badan dah agak kuat. Makan dia tak berapa pantang, cuma dia tak makan daging dan seafood sangat. Gulapun dia hentam je sampai sekrang dia kena kencing manislah pulak..

Aku berminat nak tahu pasal vitamin yg Makcik Nab makan so aku tanyalah dia makan vitamin apa. Dia sebut, "Vitamin cancer". Aii, aku kata dlm hati, "Ada ke vitamin cancer"?. Bila di soal lebih mendalam rupa-rupanya dia makan vitamin keluaran Amway dan vitamin-vitamin yg dia makan tu adalah, vit A, B, C, E, Beta Carotene, Garlic dan satu lg .... dah lupalah pulak... Tapi dngar pengalaman Makcik Nab mmng interesting.

Berbalik pd makcik A tadi. Nombornya 8, so dia masuk dulu dr aku. Bila keluar, rupanya makciktu kena dimasukkan ke wad utk rawatan lanjut. Aku tngok muka dia, mcm dah tension. Kesian betul. Tu dia belum tahu lg tu yg kat wad nanti tak boleh org tunggu dia malam-malam. Hem... Aku cuma sempat salamje ngan makcik A sbb turn aku pulak nak kena masuk.

Aku dan E-Ya masuk. As usual nurse Kismah yg dulu buat Chemo aku yg tak jd tu dah sengih sengih kat aku ngan E-Ya. Sebenarnya nurse Kismah sejak peristiwatu mmng dah baik ngan kami. Kami adalah berjumpa dgn dia beberapa kali utk beb. tujuan spt MC dan surat pengesahan keperluan ubat. Dia persilakan kami masuk.

Aku ingat aku akan berjumpa Dr. Suguna balik, tp rupanya doktor lain. Doktor lelaki. Namanya menurut kata E-Ya ialah Mohd. Razzi Kamaruzzaman. Masa aku disoal jawab oleh doktor, kerja dia mengintai nama doktor ...

Dr. Razzi mula dgn bertanya pd aku apa yg telah dilakukan oleh pihak Onco. Akupun jawablah yg Onco dan Radiologi dah buat radioterapi 10 kali pd aku dan dah selesai pada bulan Disember tahun lalu. Lepas ni aku cakap dia org nak buat pulak radioterapi kat para aortic lymph nodes. Dr. Razzi tanya kenapa Onco tak buat kat leher dulu. Ni yg aku lemah ni. Tanya kat aku buat apa? Aku bukan doktor. Mana le aku tahu kenapa oncologist tu nak fokus kat para aortic lymph nodes dulu tidak kat leher. Kadang-kadang aku terfikir jugak, doktor-doktor lain department ni tak bercommunicate ke antara satu lain utk bincang pasal patient? Bayangkan kes mcm aku yg melibatkan 3 pihak - Gynae-Onco, Onco dan Radiology. Kalau masing-masing langsung tak liason utk tahu apa dan kenapa masing-masing buat sesuatu perawatan, aku ni nanti apa jadinya? Uwahhhh !!!

Cuma aku jawab kat Dr. Razzi, "Entahlah doktor, saya terlupa tanyalah pulak. Dia orgpun tak explain kenapa. Agaknya dia org buat berperingkat-peringkat. Mula-mula pelvic, lepastu naik ke atas ke para aortic, naik ke leher, lepastu kepala pulak..." Aku gurau sebenarnya... Nurse Kismah time tu dah tergelak besar. E-Ya cuba cover malu cakap kat doktor, "Makcik saya mmg macam ni doktor. Jgn dngr cakap dia". Kemudian nurse Kismah pulak cakap, "Yelah.. akak ni first time jumpa dulu ingatkan pendiam orgnya. Masa tu dia duduk hujung sana, saya duduk hujung sini. Senyap aje. Rupa-rupanya klakar orgnya". Dr. Razzi walaupun tak gelak tp senyum-senyum pulak dia aku tengok. Dia kemudian suruh aku berbaring sbb dia nak check pelvis dan abdomen aku.

Korang ingattak kisah perut aku yg telah berparut sbb diletakkan dgn bawang putih dulu tu? Hemm... paruttu tak hilang, masih ada. Masih macam corak batik spt yg aku kata dulu. So masa Dr. Razzi tu check dia terkejut tanya kenapa dgn perut aku. Akupun terpaksalah sekali lg dgn tebal muka explain kat dia itu adalah akibat kerana mendengar petua org tua-tua, letak bawang putih utk kecutkan tumor kanser. Dr. Razzi tanya lg sambil membelek, "Bawang putih?" Aku jawab, "Iye, garlic". Agaknya kagum betul Dr tu tngok perut aku. Dia cakap lg, "Tak sangka pulak saya bawang putih boleh buat kulit jd macam ni" Aku jawap, "Sayapun tak sangka" Sabar je lah... Nurse Kismah yg dah tahu citer dr dulu lg, dah tutup-tutup mulut menahan ketawa.

Seperti yg di jangka Dr Razzipun agak concern bahagian liver aku. Dia ketuk-ketuk utk dngr kelainan bunyi pada bahagian-bahagian di abdomen dan pelvis. Dia kemudian cakap mcm ada something kat liver. Akupun cakaplah dapatan CT Scan dan ultrasound aku semalam. Aku cakaplah yg aku dah awarepun ada something wrong dgn liver aku. Kemudian dia check pulak leher aku, lepas tu dia suruh aku duduk semula di kerusi.

Dia cakap dia tak boleh buat apa sekarang hanya boleh monitor aku aje dulu. Since aku katakan yg aku ada buat X-Ray dan Ct Scan baru, dia kata dia akan tunggu filem-filem tu sebelum dia boleh cakap apa-apa lagi lebih lanjut. Dia kata dia nak jumpa aku balik pada 19 Februari nanti. In the meantime dia suruh aku teruskan saja appointment aku utk radioterapi kali yg kedua tu.

Sebelum balik, dia tanya aku tinggal kat mana, and since dia tahu aku single dia tanya aku tinggal ngan siapa. Aku jawaplah sambil menunjuk ke E-Ya, "Saya duduk dgn dia". E-Ya betulkan keadaan, "Bukan doktor, bukan makcik saya yg duduk dgn saya, tp saya yg duduk ngan dia" Ek eleh... minah ni... nak enterfrem jugak... Tak sama ke, kata hati ku. Dr Razzi tanya lg kalau aku datang treatment, ada org temankan ke atau tidak, siapa hantar dan jemput. Lagi sekali aku tunjukkan ke E-Ya. Dia angguk-angguk kepala, sambil cakap, "Baguslah kalau macam tu". Actually soalan ini jg dulu ada ditanya oleh oncologist. Mungkin mereka takut kalau apa-apa jd pd aku, ada org yg nak menentukan nanti agaknya.

Sebelum aku keluar utk balik tiba-tiba Dr. Razzi cakap, "Ok kita jumpa balik nanti 19 Februari. Ni lepas ni nak letak bawang putih lg ke ni?" Aii, Dr ni nak kena plankong?? Aku tengok muka dia, ingatkan dia perli aku tp rupanya dia cakap tu sambil ketawa. Mungkin dia teringat perut aku yg bercorak batik tadi. Mungkin aku patient pertama dia yg mempunyai perut mcm gitu. One in a million. Hahaha... E-Ya yg jawab, "Tak Dr. lepas ni tak letak kat perut dah, tp nak makan pulak". Aku balas balik, "Haa... yg kat perut tu pun dulu dia lah punya angkara. Semua dia punya pasal". Lepas tu kami semuapun gelak ramai-ramai. Masa aku dah keluarpun aku masih boleh dngr doktor tu dan nurse Kismah tergelak-gelak lg. Sabor je lah...

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Tima Kasih !!!


Minggu lepas aku pegi sekolah hantar MC. Aku diberi MC oleh doktor sampai 28 Februari 2009. Kali ni MC berjumlah 55 hari, cukup utk include tarikh-tarikh aku akan pegi buat radiotheraphy kali yg kedua nanti. Lepas tu kena dapatkan MC lain. Ia perlu sbb aku rasa lepas ni pun aku akan mnjalani radioterapi lagi tapi utk leher pulak. Risau jugak memikirkan banyak kali juga kena "tembak" dgn bahan radioaktif ni tp apa nak buat. Setakat ini menurut oncologist yg merawat itu aje treatment yg boleh aku terima, so redhakan ajelah.

Hari tu sampai je di sekolah aku terus ke pajabat utk berjumpa kerani sekolah, Kak Jan. Duduk kejap berborak ngan dia kat situ tiba-tiba dah ramai je kawan-kawan aku turut sama di situ bertanyakan khabar. Rata-rata mereka kata aku nampak sihat, macam org tak sakit. Aii maklumlah, dah dekat 3 bulan duduk goyang kaki aje kat rumah, mananya tak sihat??? Hahaha... tapi betul, alhamdullilahlah masa aku pergi sekolah haritu aku memang tak de rasa sakit apa-apa.

Actually masa aku mula tahu aku kena cancer dulu aku tak cakappun ngan kawan-kawan aku. Ntahlah kenapa, aku tak rasa perlupun nak beritahu masa tu. Ada tak ada aku cuma cakap ngan sorang je iaitu Kak Hanim. Akupun ingat lg masa aku kat Pusrawi, aku dikunjungi oleh "org-org besar" sekolah, Pengetua, Pen. Kanan, Pen. Kanan HEM, Pen Kanan Ko-Ko, Ketua-Ketua Bidang yg mmng rata-rata kawan-kawan aku juga. Mereka adalah tanya aku ni sakit apa sebenarnya? All this while dia org ingat aku cuma ada masalah fibroid je. Masatu aku ingat aku jawab tak sure, tp bila aku ckp kat dia orng aku kena tukar hospital sbb Pusrawi tak de perawatan yg aku perlukan, rupa-rupanya dia org dah buat assumption sendiri yg sakit aku adalah lebih serius dr yg dijangka. Utk kepastian dia orgpun tanyalah Kak Hanim dan Kak Hanimpun terpaksalah cakap yg sebenarnya ku dah disahkan cancer.

Apa lagi, sebaik dapat tahu ramailah dtng melawat. Dari cikgunya, kakitangan pejabat, sampailah ke pembantu makmal semua ada dtng melawat. Pernah sekali di HUKM, tak kurang dekat 15 org dtng sekaligus. Riuh satu wad. Almaklumlah cikgu ...

Kalau nak citer pasal reaksi kawan-kawan yg datang melawat ni mcm-mcm sebenarnya. Ada yg datang tanya kita berbagai-bagai soalan. Ada tanya mcm mana keadaan, ada yg tanya mcm mana boleh kena cancer (huh???), ada yg tanya apakah rawatan yg doktor akan lakukan, pendik kata mcm-mcmlah. Tak kurang juga ramai yg memberi kata-kata semangat dan dorongan.

Ada jugak yg dtng tak tanya kita apa-apa...senyap matanya pandang kita tak berkelip-kelip. Naik takut jugak aku dibuatnya. Terfikir masa tu dlm hati, "Aii, kenape pandang macam gitu? Aku dah tumbuh satu lg lubang hidung ke?" Hahaha....

Tp dalam ramai-ramaitu aku paling tak boleh terima sorang yg datang sambil peluk, urut belakang dan bisik, "Oh... kesian, kesiannya ..." Apakah??? Aku tahulah maksudnya baik, tp rasa mcm tak kena gaya aje. Cubalah korang tanya mana-mana pesakit, tak payah yg kena cancerpun, apakah jwpn mereka kalau sekiranya ada org kata begitu pd mereka? Besar kemungkinan jwpnnya sama spt mana yg akan aku berikan di bawah ini. (Kalau laintu, minta maaf ajelah ye...)

Pada aku org yang sakit perlukan sokongan, dorongan, kata-kata semangat dsbnya, bukan kata-kata simpati. Ada bezatu. Kata-kata sokongan dan dorongan akan menjana positive vibes buat pesakit, membuatkn dia sentiasa berlapang dada dan berusaha utk memperbaiki keadaannya. Tp simpati sebaliknya. Simpati akan membuatkan psakit merasakan seolah-olah mereka telah awal-awal lg dihukum oleh orng lain yg mereka tidak mempunyai harapan. Ibarat mengatakan pd mereka - "Tiada Esok Bagi Mu" dah..

Kalau aku nak minta simpatipun aku hanya minta simpati dr Allah sj sbb aku tahu padaNya ada segala jawapan dan penawar buat aku. Dia yg telah menentukan perjalanan hidup aku. Aku bersyukur kerana aku salah sorang antara mereka yg terpilih olehNya utk diberi peringatan awal bagaimana dan ke mana aku harus bawa hala tuju hidup aku... Alamak... dah bunyi mcm ustazah bg motivasilah pulak...Ni Kak Azwana kalau baca ni mesti dia cakap, "Aiii... ni Nah ke ni?". Hahaha...

Berbalik pada persoalan di atas drp menunjukkan simpati, aku lg suka kalau ada yg tanya, "Dah berubat ni mcm mana, rambut ada lagi atau dah botak?" atau " Dah kena radioterapi kat uterus, maknanya dah mandullah ni? " atau paling senangpun kalau tak tahu nak buat atau cakap apa, diam dan senyum je kat aku, sudah ... Aku takkan ambik hati punya. Siapa yg kenal rapat ngan aku tahulah aku ni mcm mana. Aku sebenarnya kaki gurau. Bg yg tak rapat aje mereka ingat aku ni jenis yg sombong, tak banyak cakap, muka serius gilerr, kdng-kdng ada sikit mcm "malaikat maut", especially bila time time tak de mood. Siapa yg cakap mcm gini? Aku sendiri cakap lerr...

Walau apapun aku berterima kasih pada semua kawan-kawan yang telah banyak memberi sumbangan material, dan spiritual pada aku. Bunga kat atas tu utk korang semua. TABIKK SPRINGG !!!

Hari aku ke sekolahtu jugak aku didatangi oleh sorang student librarian aku. Bdak ni dulu pernah beberapa kali ternampak aku terjelepok menahan sakit kat meja aku. Dia tanyalah aku sakit apa. Masatu aku cakap je aku sakit perut. Tp aku rasa akhirnya students akupun tahu aku sakit apa. Rupanya dia org pakat ramai-ramai beli kad utk aku. Kad tu entah dah berapa lama dia org simpanpun aku tak tahu. Akupun sejak Oktober tahun lalu tak datang sekolah. So hari tu dia dapat tahu aku ada di sekolah, so cepat-cepat dia cari aku. Selain kad tu ada satu lg gift yg sgt comel diberikan buat aku. Bdak-bdak ni mmg kreatif.

Muka depan kad. Jgn bdak-bdak tu ingat muka aku mcm ni udah...

Bila di buka, ter "toing-toing" menari-nari katak tu ...

Swan ni diperbuat dari kertas yg dilipat-lipat je, tp tngoklah hasilnya ... Cantikkan?

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Date Dengan Radiologist

12th January was my appointment date with the oncologist. E-Ya and me arrived at HUKM on the dot at 10 am. After registering myself at the counter I waited for about 30 minutes before my name was called. As usual E-Ya followed me into the examination room. As I tend to sometimes forget details, so she will be there to act as my backup info storage. Sort of like my external hard disk lah mcm gitu, kata dia. Tapi kadang-kadang dia pulak yg terlebih-lebih teruja, tanya itu ini dgn Dr.

I was introduced to my new oncologist Dr Hayani. She started off with asking how I was to which I answered, “Doing well, TQ”. She then proceeds to ask me questions like, “Do feel any pain now? How’s your bleeding, has it stopped? How’s your appetite? Do you have any problem with your motion passing and urination? Is there any blood in your stools or urine? Is the skin being radiated giving you any problem?”, and so on.

Alhamdullilah, although two or three weeks after radiation I had to endure diarrhea, and fatigue but today as I entered the fifth week, it’s much better. Overall I am fit as a fiddle – but an old fiddle lah...

My bleeding has also stopped and it has been a week since the last. What’s left with me now are back, leg pain and yeah ... the itchiness. Oh God whenlah will this itchiness go?

Even though I followed the advice of the radiotherapist not to apply any ointment, cream, soap or talcum powder to the radiated area, I still find it dry and itchy. Luckily there are no abrasions or burn marks , just that it’s a bit darker than the other areas. However, I do notice my skin is getting a bit drier now and this is causing other parts of my body to itch slightly. I asked the Dr if she can do anything about this, but she said if she prescribed any medication it would either be some cream that contains a steroid or something that would make my skin even drier. Thus she advised me to just wash and bathe using water diluted with salt, a practice which I had actually done several times at home.

On top of that, to eradicate dryness I am also “learning” to consume a lot water now.. err.. before this I don’t think I had the proper 8 glasses per day dosagelah.. Mana taknya... sometime nak minum atau nak makanpun boleh terlupa... Yes, believe it or not, if I’m too engrossed with work I sometime forget to eat and I can be without food for hours. Tak human btullah aku ni...

Now, every morning I make sure I take my Prosure drink added with nestum or cornflakes together with either bread/biscuits/beehoon whatever is available. Kalau boring dgn Prosure I’ll have my strawberry flavored Ensure. Both drinks contained Omega 3 fatty acids (can also get it from cold-water fish) that is not only good for the heart but also inhibits cancer tumors. At least twice a day, I’d normally go for green tea added with a spoonful of honey and mint leaves. I am also trying hard to add variety and build up my vegetables intake. Before this I only go for leeks, asparagus and broccoli, but now cabbages, spinach, carrots - anything green or leafylah, I’ll try it. The word here is to go for veggies and fruits that are rich in phytochemicals. Surfing the net got me to know that such veggies and fruits are those rich in colors. Anything that is red, green, yellow and orange – go for it. Cuba jangan tak cuba kata org.

I also noticed that now I have to be more careful with my food intake. Before this I was a seafood diehard fan but now makan sikit seafood je badan dah gatal.. Uwah...! Betul, masa our BBQ tu kan aku hentam seafood? Esoknya badan gatal ssngt. Lg satu kalau makan makanan yg ada banyak letak MSG kepala aku boleh pening sikit. Pulak dah... Dulu berkilo-kilo MSG dah makanpun tak de apa-apa... sekarang pulak tak boleh. So off or slow down je (hehehe) with all the KFC, McD, Burger King and seangkatan dgnnya ... and what about my noodle eating crave? Ni lagilah doubly Uwah ... uwah ...! Dulu hari-hari aku makan noodles, nasi tak jumpapun tak pe, tp jgn noodles. I must have noodles at least once a day. Sekarang kalau makan boleh kembong perut...! Bagus tak bagus??? For example, just the other day E-Ya, Fizah and me stopped by to eat at this “Nasi Lemak Antarabangsa” restaurant near our house. They both had nasi lemak while I had curry mee. My God, masa makan tak pandang kiri kanan tp bila balik rumah, tersandar kat kerusi mcm buaya kenyang sebab perut rasa senak dengan angin. I quickly took my green tea and alhamdullilah, an hour later I was ok. Hey... I cuma burp kat atas, tak burp kat bawah, ok... so skrang kalau nak makan mee kenalah fikir berkali-kali nampaknya.

I just don’t understand why food that I used to consume before I was sick, is giving me problem now. Tp tak kisahlah. Most importantly I can still eat other things. Thus, my sickness is actually something like “a blessing in disguise” as it teaches me to now take more care of my diet and lifestyle.

Oh my... look at me. I’ve strayed from my original intention of relating what happened in the Dr’s room to something else. I’m good at this, ya? Hehehe...

Ok, where were we? Let me see.., I’ve done the part on the itchiness. Oh yes.. now, the back and leg pain. As anticipated the Dr said the pain is normal, its indeed part of the side effects of radiation therapy. If the pain is not too intense just bear with it. If not, taking pain killers would be fine. But she recommends taking low dosage pain killers first before going for higher ones.

With all pleminary questions settled she then asked me to lie down on the examination bed so that she can do a pelvic check on me. She seems satisfied as she found the pelvis is soft to touch. Before, it was a bit hardened especially at the location where the tumor was. Checking both my armpits also revealed that the area is lump free. It’s the neck that is still a problem...

Funny as it may sound, the cancer on the neck is also called endometrial cancer. This is because it is a metastasized tumor from the endometrium. In my earlier appointment with my previous oncologist I was told for the cancer to spread up to the neck, it has to go through my para aortic lymph nodes. Thus, logically this area has also been affected with cancer. The para aortic lymph nodes are located near the stomach. The oncologist did not carry out radiation on all three areas – pelvis, stomach and neck, as the area to be radiated would be too large and that is something unwise to do.

When asked what the next step in my treatment is, the Dr suggested that I try chemo. I mentioned to her about my failed chemo and she said if they do chemo for me now it would be a different drug and they’ll do it 3 cycles first. And guess what? She even mentioned to me that I should not have had the earlier chemo in the first place. She explained at that time I was still bleeding, so chemo shouldn’t have been administered at all. That’s why it failed. But now since my bleeding has subsided, that’s why she is thinking of giving me back chemo.

E-Ya asked the Dr if it is possible that I undergo surgery to remove the tumor altogether. After all earlier visits with the Dr at Gynae-Onco suggested that I will undergo all three treatments - radiation, chemotherapy and surgery. I remembered being told at that time surgery will take place once the tumor has shrunk.

Dr. Hayani explained if the Drs thought that I can be operated, they would have done that in the first place. Now since I started my treatment with radiotherapy all the veins, lymph nodes and others are in a mess inside my pelvis due to the intense radiation. In a mess, meaning some tend to be infused with each other thus it would be very difficult for the surgeon to separate which is which during operation. Hence that would be a problem that is too risky to take. Sounds spooky, huh? At that point of time aku dah imagined my veins and lymph nodes looking like mashed, soggy noodles ...

From that explanation I now come to a conclusion that my case is now a case of an inoperable cancer. What does that mean? I will do a separate write up on inoperable cancer in my next entry, insyaalah. If I include it in this entry then it’ll be like writing a journallah pulak... panjannnngggg bangat!

Dr Hayani nevertheless added whatever the decision is, it will be based on her discussion with her superior the oncologist specialist, Prof Fuad. With that she left the room to go see the Prof who was just a few doors away. I was left with E-Ya in the room.

E-Ya looked at me and said, “Acik, patutlah bila Acik kena discharged lepas chemo tu tak sapapun dr Gynae-Onco datang explain kenapa situation Acik jd mcm tu, dia org takutlah tu sbb dia org dah buat salah. Ni kalau dekat the West ni dah boleh saman dah ni”. Ke situ pulak bdak ni...

Aku: ”Alah... syukur jelah Acik masa tu cepat developed side reactions. Kalau ditakdirkan lg lama chemo tu berjalan, ntah apa jadi ntah? Tapi jgn cakap ngan Ucu (my bro) nanti Ucu sure mengamuk punyalah”. Definitely, dahlah masa aku duduk lama kat ward tak buat apa-apa tu dia dah pissed off, lepas tu dngar pulak mesin radiotherapy rosak, lagi dia geram and now this.. kalau info ni dapat kat dia, hemm.. alamat ada yg kena kang...

15 minutes later Dr. Hayani came back into the room. Behind her was Prof Fuad. Prof Fuad asked me to again lie down on the examination bed as he himself now wants to check my pelvic and stomach area. After 3 or 4 minutes of tekan sana, tekan sini he then asked me to sit up as he wants to check my neck pulak. Then both of them converse in English about what they want to do with me.

Naturally, during their conversation itself I already know what the next treatment is going to be. The deal is like this:

Since I’m inoperable and since they see that radiation works well with me they are going to continue with radiotherapy, but this time it’s for the para aortic lymph nodes. For that they have to re-stage my condition. Re-stage means that I have to have a new chest X-Ray and CT Scan. So I am given appointment for both procedures on the 21st January at 8.30 am. The next day, 22nd I’ll have my appointment with the gynae-onco Dr. I have yet to hear their side of the story but I think after what had happened, they’d probably just go along with the oncologist’s suggestion.

Then come 29th January I’ll have my simulation at the radiotherapy unit. Hopefully one week after i.e early February, I’ll start my first, out of 10 sessions of radiotherapy. Actually this time around, the radiotherapy frets me. Radiation to the stomach area gives more side effects like nausea, vomit, appetite loss, fatigue and epigastralgia. Epigastralgia includes feeling of burning, cramps, heaviness, painful hunger, something similar to a person who has gastric. Meaning I will most probably feel like I used to feel before I went for treatment. This really bothers me as I can still recall how agonizing that was. I am thus, praying for that not to happen.

Upon completion of all that, ehem... ehem... if all goes well, early March Insyaalah E-Ya, Fizah and me will be off holidaying to Penang and Langkawi (jerrr...) We’ll be away for 5 days. Accommodation for this is free because of that Carrefour lucky draw win, remember? We have to go before 11 March 2009 or the vouchers will be void. Tu yang TERPAKSA pergi holiday tu... hehehe

Oh, Oh ... guess who just entered the room? No lah.. Its not Angelina Jolie lah.. Its Jessica Alba wannabe aka E-Ya lah siapa lagi... (Dey... in your dreams lah you Jessica Alba... uwekkks!)

As expected dia start dah membebel kat aku, “Hee... Acik ni tak de keje lain asyik tulis blog je...” I turned to her and asked, “Well, what do you expect me to do then?” Sebenarnya dia jeles tu, mcmlah Acik dia ni tak tahu ...

“Pergilah mencangkul ke” she replied. Tak de modal de lah tu...

“Cangkul apa? Kepala kau?” jawab aku. Hahaha ... yelah rumah aku rumah teres tanahpun dah tak de sbb semua kwasan dah ditileskan. Nak cangkul apa? Sebelah rumah akutu adalah taman permainan tapi takkanlah aku nak pergi mengcangkul kat situ pulak? Tak patut, tak patut ...

Oklah bdak ni dah nak start mengacau aku dah ni. Kang kejap lagi startlah dia suruh aku duduk memonggok dengar dia berceritalah, mengadap temankan dia makanlah, duduk sekali kat bawah tengok TV ngan dialah... bla bla bla... so aku pun ingat aku terpaksa blahlah. Cherioos!

Friday, January 9, 2009

E-Ya kena loteri

Baik punya nasib si Eya tahun ni. Tahun 2009 belumpun masuk 2 minggu, tp dia dah kena loteri. Bukan satu, bukan dua tapi TIGA!!! Aii... ini bukan loteri mcm TOTO tu lerr, ni lagi baik punya. Begini alkisahnya...

Loteri yang pertama. Trillion thanks harus ditujukan kpd bosom buddynya si bdak Sha yg keje di Melaka tu. Si Sha ni ntah mimpi apa tiba-tiba cakap ngan E-Ya yg dia nak belanja kami sekeluarga makan satay... Yum, yum! Katanya pd E-Ya, order je, resit nanti bg kat dia. Wah... ini sudah bagus. Moga Allah SWT panjangkan usia, dan murahkan rezki bdak Sha ni...err when's the next treat?? Hihihi...

Loteri kedua pulak ada sangkut paut ngan BBQ kami minggu lepas. Masa kami beli barang-barang nak buat BBQ, total bilnya adalah dekat RM 200 lebih. Rupa-rupanya Carrefour time tu ada buat lucky draw. Hadiah pertamanya ialah percutian di Palace of The Golden Horses. Tinggal 3 hari 2 malam kot kat suite mahal dia and lots of other prizes. Actually kami tak ambil pusing pun pasal lucky draw ni, so masa cashier tu cakap resit ni pergi ke Customer Service utk collect hadiah, itu je pun mmg tujuan kami - utk collect hadiah sbb beli brang over RM 100.

Sampai kat counter tu E-Yapun tunjukkan resit pembelian dan pompuan kat counter pun serahkanlah hadiahnya pada kami. Hadiah apa? Alah... satu table mat, siap ada gambar buah oren lg, courtesy of F&N beverage... Sheeesh... ingatkan apalah.. Tapi sebelum E-Ya beredar, pompuan kat counter tu ada serah kat dia satu borang utk diisi. Kata pompuan tu utk lucky draw. So E-Yapun isilah particulars dia kat borang tu dan lepas tu pegi kat counter sebelah utk masukkkan kat dalam kotak. That was it, we completely forgot about the lucky draw until a few days later.

One morning Teusday if I'm not mistaken, E-Ya received a called from a lady who introduced herself as "Cik Juliana" from the Palace of the Golden Horses. Ehhh.. hold your horses dulu... E-Ya tak menang first prize, tp dia menang consolation prize. Hadiahnya not bad - pelbagai gift vouchers utk boat ride kat tasik the Mines, health Spa, percutian to beberapa destinations dan ada lg yg kami tak ingat. Oklah jugak kan? Tp sebelum boleh dpt vouchers tu E-Ya has to bawa family (maknanya aku lerr tu ... mana ada family lain, tsk, tsk...) buat tour kat Palace of the Golden Horses dulu, free of charge. Masa tour tu nanti, kami akan diperlihat dan diterangkan apakah services dan segala cikadak yg hotel tu ada, but we are not under any obligation to pay anything, or subjected to make any stay reservation over there. The tour will take about 45 minutes after which, we will be treated to tea. We all dah set date 11 January ni utk pergi, pukul 3 petang.

Tiba-tiba baru terfikir, eh ni hari Mawi kahwin kat situ daa...Tak kisahlah kan. Mana tahu, nasib baik dapat jumpa Mawi kat situ... mesti si E-Ya teruja punya.. hua hua hua...dah lah hari tu masa kami pegi Alpha Angle Wangsa Maju tiba-tiba si E-Ya buat aku terkejut. TIba-tiba aje dia tarik tangan aku cakap, "Acik, acik, tengok tu, Mawi.."

Aku ni taklah boleh mcm pengsan kalau tngok si Mawi tu. Tp aku cakaplah juga, "Mana"? Aku sempat jeling je kat sorang mamat yg dimaksudkan oleh E-Ya tu. Nak tau apa sebenarnya? Rupa-rupanya mamat ni adalah sikit mcm Mawi, especially kalau pndang dr tepi. Tp Mawi gemuk sikit, mamat ni kurus mcm Mawi mula-mula masuk AF dulu aje rupanyer. Kebetulan mamat ni jalan ngan makwe dia jd tak le kami pandang lama-lama. Nanti kena jelingan maut susah pulak. Cuma aku cakap kat E-Ya, "Ehh, apa dah kau? Langsung tak macam Mawi laa. Lagipun apa kejadahnya si Mawi nak buat datang kat sini, dia tngh rehearsal mcm mana nak jalan kat Palace of The Golden Horses tu utk majlis kahwin dia laa.."

E-Ya jwb, "Mana tahu.. kot kot dia nak shopping kat sini. Tp bila Ya nampak pompuan yg dgn dia tu gemuk, baru Ya tahu sahlah mamat tu bukan Mawi sbb Ekin kurus, tak gemuk mcm pompuan tu".

"Pandailah kau. Dngr pompuan tu baru tahu. Dah cepat jalan, Acik nak beli buah limau ni" kata aku. So kami pun continue dgn shopping kami. Bila dah selesai, kami pun berjalan kat Food Court. Tiba-tiba aku teringin plak nak makan Yong Tau Fu. So E-Ya kata oklah dia akan duduk kat one of the tables tunggu aku. Kebetulan ada satu meja actually dah dioccupied oleh satu couple ni, tp meja mereka bercantum ngan satu lg meja yg kosong tak de org. Akupun cakap ngan E-Ya duduk jelah kat meja kosong tu tunggu aku. Selesai aku beli Yong Tau Fu akupun signal kat E-Ya, "Jom balik"

Si E-Ya lg sekali terexcited. Rupa-rupanya couple yg duduk kat meja td adalah mamat "Mawi" tu ngan girlfriend dia! Diapun cakap, "Acik, betul sebijik mcm Mawi". Hishhh! Lantak kaulah...

Loteri E-Ya yg ketiga. Ini lg bagus.. Dah bertahun kami beli lauk utk makan tengahhari. Yelah sapa nak masak kat rumah ni? Takkan bapak atau mak aku yg dah tua tu? Bahaya...dahlah bapak aku asyik lupa je nak tutup gas. So kami dah larang dia masak. Cuma weekends aje kami masak, itupun kadang kadang.

Dulu sebelum aku sakit, aku balik kerja lambat so biasanya tengahhari E-Ya akan balik umah lepas kelas dia utk beli lauk buat mak dan bapak aku. Dia selalunya beli lauk kat satu kedai makcik dekat food court Danau Kota. Dah lama jugaklah dia beli lauk kat situ sampai semua pekerja kedai termasuk makcik tokey kedai dah kenal dia. Baru-baru ni, mcm dua minggu lepas gitu, tiba-tiba makcik tokey kedai nak berborak panjang pulak ngan E-Ya. Kata E-Ya macam-macam dia tanya.

Mula-mula dia tanya, "Adik, kau ni berapa umur?". E-Ya jawab, "23 tahun".

Makcik : "Ohh dah 23, laa... makcik ingatkan awak ni baru belas-belas tahun gitu" Rupanya makcik tu ingat E-Ya ni bdak-bdak lg sbb yelah, badan E-Ya mmg species "ketot" sikit.

Makcik sambung lagi, "Awak ni beli lauk utk atuk dan nenek awak ye? Awak tinggal ngan atuk dan nenek kan? Bagus awak jaga atuk ngan nenek awak. Muda muda lg dah boleh pukul tanggung jawab. Anak makcik dah 25 tahun dah tp, tak boleh buat apa pun. Ke hulu ke hilir dgn motor, lepas tu kerjanya asyik kena tipu ngan pompuan aje... Ni pun baru frust kena tinggal girlfren". E-Ya kata masa tu dia senyum aje.

Biasanya kami beli lauk 3 jenis paling murahpun harganya RM 10 gitu gitu. Tp hari tu E-Ya balik umah tersengih dan suruh aku teka berapa harga lauk yg dibelinya. Dia beli ayam, sayur pecal, ikan pari bakar dan gulai ikan. Aku cakaplah macam biasa, "RM 12?". E-Ya cakap, "Tak... Acik mesti tak percaya, semua ni RM 6 jerr". Bila aku tanya mcm mana boleh murah mcm tu, haa masa tu lah dia citer perbualan dia ngan makcik tu kat aku. Masa tu aku cuma jwb, "itu ada makna tu..."

Esok-esoknya kalau makcik tu ada kat kedai, siaplah E-Ya... mesti diajaknya berborak. Ada je benda nak tanya. Ada je benda nak tahu.

Makcik : "Awak tak keja hari ni dik?"

E-Ya : "Saya keja petang makcik". Aku cakap ngan E-Ya, makcik tu tak tanya ke kau keja apa petang-petang? Jangan dia ingat kau keja jd "cikgu masak memasak" atau keja kat "Silver Tortoise Cabaret" sudah...

E-Ya ni sebenarnya keja dia ialah private tutor. So that's whylah dia keja petang. Dia hanya boleh start keja bila students dia dah balik sekolah. Nasib baik jugaklah waktu keja dia mcm gitu. Sebab dia boleh allocatekan time sebelah pg utk bawa aku gi hospital bila aku ada appointment. Ada masa utk uruskan makan minum atuk dan nenek dia dan mcm mcm lg.

Berbalik pd citer E-Ya dan makcik td. Si E-Ya ni kan aku pernah cakap dia ni org tua-tua mudah suka ngan dia. Apa lg... so semalam utk dua lauk harga cuma 4 hinggit, hari ni empat lauk hanya 6 hinggit. Ini sudah bagus... jimat duit...

Tapi hari ni special, hari ni ada ada extra. Hari ni anak makcik ada sama....Kuang kuang kuang... Siap makcik promote lagi, "Tu la anak makcik tu ...". Ekekekeke.... Kau pandang aku, aku pandang kau... waduh waduh!

Apa E-Ya buat? Buat bodo je, kata nya... Yelah..., nak tenggelam satu pulau Okinawa nanti? Dilanda puting beliung Aizato - malapetaka lg hebat dr Tsunami .. hahahaha...!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Ketinggalan Keretapi ... Selamat Tahun Baru ...

Happy New Year 2009 !!! Ahlan 1430 Hijrah !!!!

Sabar... sabar... aku belum sewel lagi... Aku tahulah 2009 dan Maal Hijrah tu dah lama berlalu, tp aku nak wish jugak jugak hari ni, w/pun dah terlambat. Pada hari dan waktu tarikh-tarikh tu benar-benar berlaku, I did not give it a heed pun. Tp tiba-tiba hari ni teruja plak nak jerit ... "Selamat Tahun Baru dan Selamat menyambut 1430 Hijrah...." Eii ... suka hati akulah kan, kan?? Tak de rules pun yg menyatakan tak bleh ucap tahun baru atau Maal Hijrah dah lebih seminggu ianya berlalu, kan, kan??? Takkan ada polis nak tangkap aku pulak kan, kan?? Eh.. apa daa aku mula merepek ni kan, kan???

Sepanjang minggu lepas, rata-rata blog yg aku surf akan menceritakan ttng azam-azam baru yg bakal dibuat dan diaspirasikan utk tahun 1430H atau 2009 nanti. Ada yg akan menyambung azam tahun lepas yg tak tertunai dan tak kurang pula sudah merangka azam baru yg bakal ditunaikan. Macam-macam azam yg aku baca, ada yg berazam nak spend more time with family and friends, ada yg nak upgrade themselves mentally and spiritually, bla bla ... dan ada juga yg berazam nak pegi melawat semua Muzium di Melaka ... kagum aku... (jgn marah haaa...)

Me?? Err ... what resolutions?? He .. he ... I've never been a "resolution" kindda person and I don't think I will ever be one. You see, I'm the type of person yg selalunya "hentam sajalah" ... whatever will be, will be... teruk kan? Well, actually resolutions tu tak buatlah, tp plans tu maybe ada. Lain tau resolutions and plans. Tak cayo gi tngok dictionary. For example this 2009, I have a couple of plans made out but I'm not going to tell you guys what they are. Nanti ada yg tergelak atau tak cayo pulak akan plans aku tu nanti...

So, for the past week I've not been able to do anything much, except for just resting at home. You see, I have this aching waist that's been bothering me this few days, making my movement agonizing sometimes. But dalam sakit-sakit pinggang tu sempat gak ke Carrefour dua kali... Abih cam no..???

Kenapa gi Carrefour sampai dua kali? Well, beli brang-brang nak buat BBQ. Ni semua E-Yalah punya pandai. Ntah mana dia dapat ilham tiba-tiba minggu lepas, out of nowhere tiba-tiba terkeluar dr mulut dia cakap ngan adik ipar aku, " Mak Usu, apa kata minggu depan kita buat BBQ?".

Adik ipar akutu on je, anak-anak dia yg empat org tu pun apa lg.., melompat-lompat "Yeah, yeah !!! Nak, nak....!" And everthing after that was like hell break loose with one shouting "Nak masak ayam". Another, "Nak udang dan ketam" Another pulak, "Nak bawang ..." Haa... nak bawang??? Biaq pi lah kata aku, sekurang-kurangnya bawang lagi murah dr ayam, ketam udang atau sotong ... Hahaha...

So diputuskan that day we were going to have a family BBQ on Saturday, 3 January. Menu dia mcm mcm ada ... Udang, ketam, sotong, lamb, ayam, ikan, dan frankfurter. Manakala sayur-sayur pulak spt capsicum, cendawan butang, zuchinni, bawang, baby carrot dan terung. Buah-buahannya anggur dan limau ketot-ketot tu. Punyalah banyak. Mulanya takut jugak tak habis, tp rupa-rupanya LICINNNN!!!

Actually aku nak gak postkan gambar masa BBQ di sini tp dah kena tarik rambut dah ngan E-Ya, dia kata, "Alah Acik ni... Ya nak tulis pasal BBQ tu dlm blog Ya. Acik jgn lah upload kat blog Acik pulak.."

Tak pelah... aku beralah le... kesian ke dia. Sejak sejak blog dia tak dapat sambutan (ekekeke...) aku sanggup berkorban... So kalau korang nak keterangan lebih lanjut ttng BBQ kami ni atau nak belajar mcm mana nak meng"gorganize" BBQ lain kali korang pegilah surf blog si E-Ya kat sini.. (hopefully dia dah update lerrr). Kat situ nanti sure ada mouthwatering punya pictures.

Tp nak ngadu lah sikit kat sini... W/pun menunya semua best-best tp aku tak leh makan sngt. Aku kan kena banyak pantang. Sebenarnya kalau ikutkan seafood langsung tak diberi mkn oleh doktor sbb cholestrol aku agak tinggi. Tambah-tambah masak cara BBQ. Lagi le a BIG NO NO. Tp tawakal je. Sempat lah aku rembat udang tiga cucuk, sotong dua cucuk, ketam separuh ekor ... sebelum aku ditegur, "Eh... bukan Acik tak boleh makan sea food ke???" Kuang kuang kuang.... Patah selera betullah dia org ni.... So after that it was just the vegies for me ... example of which is like the one pictured below... Sighhhh !

Aku makan jagung berdisiplin kan? Elok je gigitannya straightline je...